This story was told by a person incarcerated at Fresno County Jail.
Caller: And people who are suicidal, which I’ve been before, I attempted suicide by cop, that’s why I’m here, evading and – felony evading and auto theft.
And my plan was to commit suicide by cop. It didn’t happen. The cops were too – too kindhearted to kill me.
You know, so it was very interesting. I – I really wanted to die. Anyway, it’s just because I’m lonely and confused sometimes.
The COVID you know it – it killed, you know, a couple friends of mine. And it – you know, friends that – they were the only friends that I had, you know. Even I, but you know – and – and – it was just overwhelming. So, I went off of the deep end. And it causes – it causes a lot of suffering.
But like I told the last student that, you know, in one sense, it does devastate families, but in a different sense, it causes a lot of us to come together as humans to overcome, you know, the obstacles that we’re faced with each day, you know? And you’re – are you majoring in sociology?
UCI: No, I am psychology.
Caller: Oh, psychology. What kind – child development or?
UCI: No, more on the behavioral side.
Caller: Behavioral. Okay, well, I can give you some – I have 26 years incarceration. I’m 46 years old. And you know what, I don’t mind giving my name because I want people to know – if I die, if I have COVID because we’re in quarantine, so it’s rough.
Okay, and we’re going to find out, you know?. If somebody does have it, then we have to stay in here together. With – this is what’s horrible, you know?. We have to stay in here with the person, you know?.
You know what I’m saying? There’s no – There’s no – we have no due process. Like how do we protect ourselves from this, you know?
It’s like – it’s – everything’s played by ear, even with the policy and procedure. Because there’s no policy and procedure for COVID. This is all brand-new.
So, when things happen like somebody contracts COVID, they don’t – the facility isn’t clear on what to do, how to protect the environment, how to protect the, you know, community, how to protect the other inmates. So, I guess they’re – they’re like playing it by ear, so it’s – it’s a hardship for all of us because.
And I want to say something about these guards. They’re purple hearts. I call ’em purple hearts. They come in here and do their duty, knowing that they can die. They can contract this.
They are very, very beautiful people. This is what’s bringing us together as inmates, okay? The psychology behind it is that they’re kind hearted. They care.