This story was told by a person incarcerated at Merced County Jail.
UCI: All right. And if you have anything to share about COVID, you can share.
Caller: Yeah. I just want to say that I believe, well, I’ve been here since – and I still haven’t got a chance to see my family or anybody, for that matter. Because, you know, because of the coronavirus. And it’s kind of – it’s kind of hard.
And also, with the mail, not only did it affect our visiting, but also our mail. Because they have to go through a process. Before we even get a letter, it’s already been three weeks. And not only are they denying like, visits, but they’re also, our mail.
Like, 90 percent of my mail is getting sent back to my people because of – oh, cause they put a heart on the envelope or because of the fragrance, it smells like, with the perfume on there. Or just some, you know, dumb ass excuse, excuse my language. But you know like, it’s just being, it’s just, I feel like –
And there’s nothing we can do because their excuse is, “It’s due to the pandemic. Due to the COVID,” you know? And so, to me, it’s – it’s very stressful.
I feel like, I mean, you know, based on I’m an inmate, I barely – I have no – I feel like I lost all my rights. And I feel like I’m just – pretty much, it’s just – it’s not right. That’s how I feel.
And we’re the only county, I believe, that don’t even have, other counties have video calls. Like, video, just – they get to see their family through video calls and other stuff like that. And you know, they probably even have their visits back already, you know, from what I hear. Other counties already got their visits.
CDC, you know, they have visits already, you know? And so, to me – yeah. So, I feel like that’s not, that’s not right.
UCI: I completely agree with you. That is not right at all.
Caller: Yeah. Like, I’ve been here – I’ve been here eight months and I have only received two letters. And one of them is from you guys. You know what I mean?
So, that’s why I was like, “Wow, like they need to hear that like I’m, they need to know like this county, Merced County, is not right.” And even if you weren’t recording this, we’re being recorded anyway through them. And I hope they get a chance to hear this but, you know, cause it’s not right.
And even when you write – I try to write grievances, like try to write a grievance, I’m not even asking for much. Like I’m just asking for what I have coming as a – you know? Like I have – that’s part of my rights, you know, like to get mail, to receive letters if I can’t see my family.
They’re trying to send me pictures or, “It’s too much cleavage.” Come on, man. Like cleavage? They don’t even have – it’s – how are they supposed to, like – come on. Or a little heart on the envelope or a nice, it’s, it just – I just – it just don’t – I don’t know. Like, you know, like we’re cornered. I’m cornered.
We’re cornered up, I’m speaking for us, you know, all of us doing time in here. And I was a worker, too. They had me work, I’ve been like exposed to COVID.
You know, they have red tags on their doors and they’re using the showers, using the phone. And they’re not even doing the right procedure as far as cleaning it. Like, you know?
Like, I’m over here, like, as a worker, I’m like, I might end up using that phone. Or I know my cousin, because my cousin was in the same spot where I was at. He might use that phone because he was gonna be one of the ones to use that phone, where I was at.
So, I had to bleach – bleach the phone up and just wipe the door handles and stuff like that. And they have this person that’s, like, she’s positive on COVID, using, touching all this stuff that we’re gonna end up touching, too. And it’s like, wow.
I’m like, you know, to me, it’s like they don’t – they don’t care. They’re gloved up, they got the proper mask on and all this and that. And what about us? Like, you know? Like, so, I pretty much quit that job right there like where I was at.
Because they had me as a worker, some lockdown, which was in – and so, I quit and then they brought me to the main jail. Because that was one other – another thing, why I just didn’t feel right.
Like I was like, man, I’d rather just be segregated. And I’m right here in the SHU program, which is Security Housing Unit. And it’s just me and my celly here. We have our own phone in here and – and you know, we have a TV in here, stuff like that.
So, to me, I feel a little bit more safer in here. Because my mom just caught, I think she had COVID. My sister was exposed to COVID. My other sister was, tested positive for COVID.
My brother tested positive. These are all – these are all on the streets. And I’m like, man. So, if it’s still out there like that, that means it’s coming in here.
They seem to, like, they’re doing a normal – they’re running everything normal program, but not giving us our proper things. Like giving us our mail on time, giving us our visits. It’s only what’s convenient to them right here in the Merced County Jail.
You know? It’s what – it’s only convenient to them. They’re only doing everything via Zoom, like courts, because what?
They’re being lazy to show up to court. Okay, but yeah, what about our visits? Like what about – what about our mail?
Like everything – only what’s convenient to them. “Oh, well, we’re not gonna – we don’t have to do this. Any – we don’t have to do that because of COVID.”
All right, well, if you ain’t doing this and doing that, then why? You know, I don’t know if it makes any sense.
It’s only whatever’s – whatever is convenient to these people here, is what – they blame it on the COVID. But everything else is to be normal, but whatever has to make them work harder or do more work is what – is what they use as an excuse.
They use the coronavirus as an excuse, and that’s not right. So, I don’t know if you have any questions about anything else, but that’s pretty much what I, that’s how I feel about the whole situation.
UCI: First of all, thank you so much for sharing that.
Caller: Yeah.
UCI: I’m with you. It is not right at all. They have no right to do that to you.
Caller: Yeah.
UCI: And has – has your facility offered you any masks or sanitization, anything to help protect you?
Caller: No, we’re just – we’re just pretty much in here. I’m right here, where I’m at right now, I’m in – I’m in the SHU program and there’s only eight cells right here. And they’re not – they have some security, they have some, they have – what are they called?
Security cells, like where people that try to commit suicide. They have them here and they’re bringing them in and out of this place. You know, there’s three cells right here. And so, they’re coming in here like, for, like, being intoxicated or whatever.
You know, it’s like a little, quick holding cell. So, there’s random people just coming in here, through here. They’re touching their door handle, they’re touching their door.
They’re putting cuffs on these people, you know? And then the hands, you know, you could sneeze on the hand, you could cough, you know, we use our hands for everything, you know? So, the hands are what, normally what trap, you know, what trap the germs, you know? Whatever, the viruses, you know it’s through our hands, and you know like, whatever.
And so, to me, when they cuff you, they’re gonna touch your hands. They’re touching your hands, they’re doing this and that. They don’t even wipe them down with, like, some Lysol, like, bleach, like, you know, like, bacteria.
Cleaning the wipers, wipes or whatever. They’re just like you, putting them from one hand, from two wrists, to other two wrists. So, ain’t no telling how many wrists they went through by the time it gets to me again to go take my shower, where they have to handcuff me to take my shower.
Or handcuff me to go to yard. Because we get handcuffed when we leave our cell right here. To me, that’s not right.
To me, it’s like, whoa. And then I’m – but I’m an inmate, though. It’s either I want it or I don’t.
So, I can’t tell them, “Hey, excuse me. Can you please – can you please, for my safety, can you please wipe those cuffs down for me or something? Like can I see you wipe them to make sure they’re clean before you put them on me?”
“Do you want a shower or not?” And so, to me, it’s like, yeah, I need to shower, I’m gonna shower. I’ve been in here 24 hours. We shower every, every other day.
So, of course I’m gonna want to take a shower. I’m not gonna be in here stinky, like you know what I mean? So, I, you know, put my hands out and then there I go.
Against my rights, I’m being handcuffed to go take a shower, not knowing how many hands those handcuffs been on, been put on. So, those are just one of, that’s just one of the few things that are going on around here that I feel is not right. You know, with this pandemic.
Things you guys – I think those are good little things, you know, for your project that you have going on. I don’t know what your guys’ goal is, but, you know, thank you for listening to me. And even if, you know, you guys can’t make a difference in here too fast, but hopefully it makes a difference at some point to where things like this don’t happen again for other people. You know?
UCI: Yeah. Thank you so much for that. It’s – any – everything you just shared is gonna help us so much with our goal. And we, I completely agree with you. It is so gross for them to not do that simple action of just cleaning for you. It is not right.
Caller: Yeah. It just, I mean, there’s some handcuffs. Like come on, now. They’re gonna put them from one, some wrists to another one.
They’re – I, personally, feel the handcuffs touch my palm as they’re trying to, like, put them on. Because I have to put my hands out of a tray slot, so they can’t get, like, a clear shot at my wrists. They have to, like, okay – so, they’re touching my hands just to get them on there.
They don’t even change their gloves. So, they’re, like I said. Yeah, okay, at the end of the day, when they’re done finally doing what they were doing, their gloves, their little latex gloves come off.
And they’re safe and sound going over there and do whatever they’ve got to do. But what about us? What about all the individuals’ hands and cuffs that they touch in the process before they go in and go take their little break and take the gloves off?
You understand what I’m saying?
UCI: Yeah, I see what you’re saying. It is, it’s gross. It’s just-
Caller: Yeah.
UCI: It’s so easy to just clean. And for them to not do that, it’s – it’s horrible.
Caller: Yeah. Yeah, so I don’t know how long you guys are gonna be doing this project, how long you guys been doing it. If you guys have been getting a lot of calls or what. But I’m hoping that, that what I – if you have any questions or whatever, I’m willing to answer.
But other than that, that’s just me. I’m just venting. I’m venting, and hopefully, it helps you guys out somehow, some way. You know?
UCI: Everything you share is gonna help us. We are so thankful for everything. It is – it takes a lot of courage and bravery for you guys to call and share, and we’re so thankful for that.
Caller: Yeah. Well, you guys – well, to me, I was just grateful I got mail. Shit. I was like, “Whoa, I got a letter.”
And I was like, “Oh, who is this? I don’t even know this person.” I was like – but I read it and I was just more like, hey, all right.
I was gonna write you guys. I was actually gonna write, and then like me, like I’m getting into – like I’m getting very, like, I’m spiritual. Like spiritually, like I’m building a relationship with God.
So, to me, it was like, I was like, wow, hold on. There’s a book I’m reading, it’s called Day by Day – Day by Day Grace. And the person that wrote me, her name happened to be [redacted], you know?
And so, I don’t know who [redacted] is, but that’s what motivate – I just seen the [redacted] and I’m thinking, “Oh, it’s God sending me a letter. He’s trying to – so, maybe I need to speak up on something.” And that’s why I called you guys.
UCI: I’m so glad that our letter got to you like that.
Caller: Yeah.
UCI: That’s great. I’m happy to hear that.
Caller: Yeah. Okay. So, whoever [redacted] is, when you tell her, you tell her – tell her I said thank you for writing, sending me the thing. And thank you guys for what you guys are doing. And hopefully, you guys can, you know, succeed.
And hopefully guys can make a difference, some kind of impact on whatever you guys are planning to do.
UCI: Thank you so much, and I will relay the message.
Caller: Yes. All right. And so, you guys – yeah, I’m – I go to court on Wednesday and most likely, I’m gonna get out or I’m gonna probably go to prison for another eight months.
And that’ll be time served for me. So, one way or another, I’m
be leaving this place here soon. And I won’t have to, hopefully, things are gonna be different when I go to prison.
Or when I go home, it would be a lot better. But I’ll have control over whatever I do with my – but in here, it’s kind of messed up where I don’t have control over my own safety. Like it’s like I have to either accept it the way they’re doing it or pretty much just be without.
You know what I’m saying? And to me, it’s – I’ve been in here eight months and I can’t be without, like you know? And so, I feel like that’s just, it’s almost like I’m – I’m – I’m being hold, like, a hostage with the COVID.
Cause I have no control over who’s – how they do their work. And they should just be more, more – it’s like they’re getting comfortable. They’re getting comfortable.
I’m not saying they take it as a joke because they obviously see the impact that COVID has had on, in this world, but it’s more like they’re getting comfortable and they forget. Just seeing how dangerous it is and how easy one of us can catch it, you know what I’m saying? And so, they’re – as long as they’re safe, I feel like as long as they’re safe, that they really don’t care what happens to us.
We’re just inmates. Who cares anyway, right? We’re criminals or whatever they want us, you know, whatever they want to think about us, however they think.
That’s how I feel. And that’s what makes – that’s what makes me feel like messed up because it’s more like, really? Like you don’t even know me as a person. Like, I’m actually a good person.
Like I’m on the – when I was out there, free, like before I got my drug addiction, like I was actually a productive member of society, you know? Like, I fed the homeless, like used to do toy drives for kids on Christmas. I’m a good guy.
Like I could do full remodels in homes. Like I’m a smart individual. Like I’m – I’m not – I’m not like somebody you could just look at, and just look at and just – I mean, yes, I’m incarcerated, but if you knew who I was on the streets and stuff like that, then maybe you might look at me different, you know?
And want to give me the, probably wipe down those cuffs for me. Or probably like, you know like, you know what I’m saying? Probably be a little bit more, you know, probably reconsider giving me my mail, which just because it has a heart on it.
When you know like, it’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not hurting nobody. You know? So, anyways, yeah.
UCI: Yeah. That – that was an amazing experience you shared. Again, I’m so thankful for that. And you – you’re right, there is absolutely no reason for them to hold back your mail for that long.
Caller: Yeah. Okay, well, that’s – that’s about – Like Forrest Gump said, “That’s all I’ve got to say about that.” You know what I mean?
So, but – yeah. Thank you for listening and you have a good evening, the rest of the night or whatever.
UCI: And thank you so much for calling again to share more. We really appreciate it.
Caller: Yeah. All right. Bye.
UCI: Bye. Have a great evening.
Caller: All right. Bye.