This letter was written by a person incarcerated at CIW (California Institution for Women).
So then in July I ended up testing positive for coronavirus so then they only let me take two net bags of stuff and having to move out of my comfort zone to a whole ‘nother unit. Where they put all the people testing positive and I was bunked with a lady who was mean to me. And there mental health sucked I even have a friend who was suffering so bad that she was tired of asking for help so she set her mattress on fire, trying to kill herself.
Well when I got back to my unit I ended up hurting myself and had to go to crisis bed and there since we cannot touch stuff we do not get to read books. When I left there I was put in SCU/Mental Health program and here I have been able to attend some groups and have a physical and med doctor contact at least once a week.
But on Thanksgiving we are going back to lockdown so we will see how this goes. Just this week my grandma wrote to me and told me that my father passed away. I do not have any contact or support from any of my family so this is hard and right now they are going to be upping my level of care to PIP. I am not doing well mentally.
Now you asked how I feel about my safety. I do not feel safe in this place. I even caught this virus. And I have not left the prison to catch it. So that means the staff had to bring it in so that is not fair.
We are in a closed and controlled environment so we should have been safe but once it got here it spread like wildfire. And even while it was spreading there was still a lot of staff including sergeants, lieutenants, correctional officers, medical staff that were not wearing their masks and hanging out in groups but constantly telling us to be six feet apart and wear our masks.
And another thing because of the way it was and how many people were on meds (not in the mental health unit) but on the yard, since there are not enough people passing out meds and units they are making us take our noon meds with our morning 7:00 a.m. meds.
And for our am meds we were not getting them sometimes until 10:30 a.m. and then they are combining our 5:00 p.m. with our bedtime meds. So sometimes I would get my meds at 8:45 p.m. and I am scheduled to take seroquel at 8:00 p.m. Which they were giving to me at 5:00 p.m. and crushing it so I was knocked out before 6:00 p.m.
And if you had meds they could not give you back to back they would change your meds without even telling you. My seroquel was at 8:00 p.m., they changed it to 5:00 p.m. without even asking me or telling me.
So with all of this being said I have not been handling this crisis very well. And again for me it is not about family visits that gets me through. It is the ability to talk to other inmates who are my support and encouraging friends that I have not seen in months. So I think they need to change a lot of things but I want to thank you for even caring and listening.
