This letter was written by a person incarcerated at Donovan.
Dear PrisonPandemic,
What you are about to read should upset you. CDCR has lied about the way it handled the pandemic, at least here at RJDCF. I started journaling in March of 2020. At that point COVID-19 had spread throughout the world.
On March 3 2020, I wrote: Economic stress has become an American crisis. People are told not to gather in groups of more than 10. The shelves of stores are nearly empty. Schools have closed, sports are cancelled, and people are starting to experience heightened states of anxiety.
It’s only a matter of time before a dumbed down society tears itself apart. If we survive this we will be stronger as a people because of it.
March 22 2020: The economy is crashing, the global death toll is rising. Governors are issuing stay at home orders. California’s own stated, “Nothing is off the table when it comes to enforcing the stay at home orders.”
March 27 2020: President Trump signed a 2.2 trillion dollar stimulus relief bill. Will this lead to socialism?
April 20, 2020: People are starting to protest. RJDCF has been on modified program since the 7th. The global death toll from COVID-19 is over 160,000.
April 28, 2020: Mandatory face covering issued at RJDCF and in San Diego. The beaches were open but closed again.
June 1, 2020: Still on modified program – lockdown. Cell feeding.
Riots have broken out all over the country. RIP George Floyd. Groups of thousands are looting, burning government buildings.
December 21, 2020: Yard and day room program partially opened. COVID restrictions lifted.
An outbreak has infected close to 700 people at RJDCF (ABC10 News).
For the first time since the pandemic began, COVID tests were given to all inmates who consented.
I believe this outbreak could have been prevented.
December 24, 2020: Eight people (inmates) in my block tested positive. My celly’s test came back inconclusive. He might be quarantined.
December 26, 2020: He was retested on the 24th and it came back positive. I am locked in an 8 x 10 with him. Any chance I won’t get it?
CDCR should have tested staff and inmates sooner.
Mass testing in CDCR-RJDCF did not begin until after there was an outbreak, at which point people were already dying. People I’ve known for years.
December 28, 2020: Instead of quarantining my celly per protocol, he was left in the cell with me for three days and then after I’d already developed symptoms, he was taken to the gym.
There’s no heat in the gym. It’s basically a warehouse. It’s cold, filthy, and full of triple bunks of the infected.
December 29, 2020: Last night I was racked with pain, headaches, muscle aches, kidney pain, frequent urination and painful bloating.
Today I spent the day lying down. Moving makes the blood in my head rush. Tried to do a little painting but got dizzy. Bad headache.
No nurses have come to check on me since my celly was removed. No staff or COs have asked if I’m OK. It would be nice to have someone care. I am all alone and afraid.
I don’t know what will happen next. I might die and somehow I have to find a way to make peace with that or the fear itself might kill me.
I don’t want to get sent to the warehouse and I don’t want to infect people in my block so I’ll stay in my cell.
December 30, 2020: Last night I woke up and my sheets were soaked with sweat. It turned into an all night battle. The virus has moved into my lungs and I’m trying to remember not to cough. Don’t want to make it worse. Or cause perm damage.
December 31, 2020: I haven’t died. I think I’m through the worst of it.
The outbreak spread throughout my block like wildfire. Once people caught on that they would be sent to live in the warehouse, myself included, they stopped testing.
Day room activities continue and three times a day when inmates are released for meds, they shuffle through the sally port in a horde of sickness that continues to rage.
Day room should have been shut down.
Meds could have been delivered.
CDCR’S official reports probably say that it was shut down and they were delivered but I assure you such reports are lies.
I can feel it in my lungs and I’m dizzy. It feels alien and hostile.
January 1, 2021: Off and on cough with phlegm plus dry nose.
January 2, 2021: A man that was housed in the warehouse was moved into my cell today. I told him I have COVID before he came in. He said he does too.
I feel weak.
January 4, 2021: I can’t smell or taste anything. Life is cardboard and I’m always winded.
January 6, 2021: I want my senses back. Lungs feel diminished.
January 8, 2021: 18 of the cells in my block are empty. Two more people died.
February 10, 2021: Today I took the first of two Pfizer shots.
April 25, 2021: That’s where my journal entries ended. I went out to yard today and tried to run a lap. Made it halfway and then had to stop. Started seeing black spots, head pounding, can’t breath and my chest hurts.
This is the worst sickness I’ve ever experienced.
Thank you for letting me share. Please mention my name and publish this. Age 39 non-hispanic caucasian male.
Before COVID I weighed 198 lbs and could run five miles. Now I can’t get back up on my buck without getting winded. Though I refused to test while I was sick, I bet if x-rays of my lungs were taken and compared to x-rays from a year ago the proof would be in the pudding.
I don’t smoke and I shouldn’t get so winded. It’s been months and I still can’t smell.
All that being said, life for me, goes on. I’m training to be a literacy mentor, talking college classes (one more for a degree in social and behavioral science), exercising, writing a novel, illustrating a book of tarot, taking extension courses through the church of scientology of Orange County, studying Buddhism though BAUS, playing a lot of scrabble and doing my best at all of it.
To all who have taken the time to read this, thank you for caring, thank you for your time and thank you for your good vibes and prayers.
I send it all back times three with added love and the postulate that together we as a human race of spirit and filled organisms, we will get all the way through this.
Happiness beats sickness.
Love wins the night.
The light of life that burns within us all blazes in me for you and I care.
Sincerely,
April 25, 2021
480 Alta Rd, San Diego, CA 92179
Please write back to me with any questions or just to say hello. I’m in here for life. Thank you.
