Letter from Pleasant Valley, March 22, 2021, #7385

This letter was written by a person incarcerated at Pleasant Valley.

Hi PrisonPandemic,

How are you? I hope all is well with you and your whole team. I just wanted to thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my story.

To be honest, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to do so. You know, prison politics, things are not always white and black in here.

I'm just so tired of not being able to speak up. And I believe it's a good idea to let people know of the things we go through in here. I hope my story makes enough sense for you to read and understand. Lol.

I apologize for my bad grammar. I'm not sure for what purposes you need this story of mine, but go ahead and do what you do. It's all good. Okay. Lol.

Oh yeah! I'm sorry for the amount of time I took to give you a response. There was a lot going on. Plus, I had to contemplate if it was a good idea.

Well, Kristin, thank you so much for the opportunity to share my story. And for taking the time to read it. I appreciate it. By the way, where did you get my info? It's okay if I cannot know.

Once again, thank you to you and your whole team for making our voices heard. You'll take good care. Stay safe. God bless.

Sincerely.

***

3-2021

I never imagined that my life would become so complicated overnight. I remember waking up early in the morning and turning on the TV. It was really scary!

Seeing this virus break all the rules in the book. It respected no one! Our age, ethnicity, and professional background didn't matter.

This virus was causing chaos and panic. Especially in prison. It was hard for me to go to sleep that night and being locked up made it 3 times worse!

I couldn't just go and be with my family and those who I care very much about. I was afraid of the uncertainty of the things to come.

I wasn't the only prisoner who felt this way, of course! As a small community in prison, we all knew each other, and felt each other's pain and fear! I honestly thought that they, CDCR, were going to implement new strict rules and regulations for all inmates.

I guess I was just feeling optimistic because as months went by, things were the same. Every program was running normal like if nothing was wrong out there in our community. I became very worried for all our safeties.

These correctional officers didn't mind wearing their own masks. While us prisoners walked around without anything covering our faces. We couldn't do much!

And our voices were far from being heard. Now that things got worse and people started to get sick in here. I guess things are finally starting to change a little.

I haven't seen my family in over 10 years now! The only line of communication we had was through the phone and letters. I went a few months without speaking to them, and it broke my heart into million pieces.

It's really scary when you can't know your family's status apart from feeling afraid for them. It sucks to feel lonely! Not being able to call my family and friends was depressing!

My ex-girlfriend ended our relationship right after we stopped getting visits. She said that the lack of communication and everything that was going on was too much for her. It's really overwhelming when everything happens at once. I was losing my mind.

I stayed up late at night, praying, and hoping for better days to come. I needed much strength and courage to face everything that was about to happen in my life. One thing that was unbearable was the feeling of being lost and alone. I needed to hear my mother's voice and siblings! That's if nothing happens to them.

I finally decided to look at these things that were happening as a test of time. In prison there are only limited things we could do to cope with the things we are going through. Some of these things are usually bad!

But I chose to cope with these things I was going through by turning to my higher power. I asked for serenity over the things I cannot control, and strength, courage to confront everything head on! Good or bad.

I believe everything happens for a reason. Although, at the time, nothing seemed fair. A lot of people judge us just because we're in prison.

They think that we don't care about anyone or anything that goes on out there in the world. That's not true! We are human beings too. We hurt as much as anyone else.

I know, it's easy to give up when you get knocked down. But you and we have to keep getting up! Why?

Because as long as you are alive, there's a fight still left to be fought and we can't give up! At least not that fast and easy. I believe trials and tribulations builds endurance, and endurance builds strength of character, and strength of character builds perseverance! We are all going through the same struggles and the point is to be strong and overcome it.

I wish everyone the best! Thank you for the opportunity to tell my story and especially for taking your time to read it.

Much blessings to you all.

Sincerely,

3-2021

Letter from Pleasant Valley, March 22, 2021, #7385

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