This letter was written by a person incarcerated at New Folsom.
I would like you to understand that I’ve been accustomed to being on lockdown or having very little freedom. Out of the three months on the mainline we were on lockdown half the time. In fact, when the pandemic began, I was on a lockdown.
The point is that the entire time of the pandemic till about February 2021 I didn’t mind the modified program CSP-Sac adopted because of the pandemic. Yet as I’ve stated in February 2021 the pandemic isolation got to me.
In the very beginning of the pandemic, I met the love of my life. We’ve been through a lot and just recently she left me. The lack of physical connection was too much. If it was not for the pandemic, we would have been married.
We would still speak yet it hurts me that my situation and the situation the world is enduring has robbed me of the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had. It is hard to stay positive, but I strive to be optimistic.
The restriction CDCR has in place are troublesome. I long for the physical connection of my family and loved ones. I’ve received a vaccine and they are available to all who desire one. Many inmates distrust the vaccines, they don’t realize they are holding back the rest of us who wish to hold their loved ones.
The beginning of the pandemic was strange, it seemed as if it was never going to end. The middle was a standstill it felt very long. Now that we are at the end of it seems to be moving quick.
CDCR need to recognize that constant communication, especially physical contact with family and loved ones matter more to a inmate then all else. I’ve never had a contact visit and as of February 1st I really need it. I broke for years I never cared about these things, now I need it.
I’m not happy I’m struggling to maintain a front. I’ve coped my exercising and relying on my faith. I’m a strong minded individual. I’ve prepared myself since I was a teenager for a life of incarceration. Yet I’ve broken down.
Although I’ve “prepared” for this life I change or redefined myself completely two years ago. I want a better life. This pandemic has stepped my progress I could have earn more milestones and furthered my education if it wasn’t for this pandemic.
I hope you’ve had a good insight in my life. Remain strong and safe we’ll get through this.