This letter was written by a person incarcerated at Susanville.
But none the less, as each day went by, it did feel like the USA was under fire, and at war. It actually felt like an enemy force has actually breached out sacred borders, and for the first time, bringing death and destruction to our homeland.
While I was in my cell, I felt hopeless. The TV news was extremely overwhelming, always and constantly introducing some horrifying numbers of daily death tolls! Being that I was doing my time in a foreign country, I was blind to the extent of the effects in San Jose. I was only informed on the area the prison was located in. The only information I received of my hometown was when it generated in brief reports.
At times, I felt as if I was drowning, with my hands tied to my back. I actually chilled to the bon for the first time in my life, both for my safety and for my family’s safety. As time went by, the world’s news channels and the other media outlets were systematically educating us on COVID dynamics, and how it works, affects people.
My heart dropped further in fright and from concern as I discovered that COVID is a respiratory attacking germ, and that COVID is more dangerous towards elders. My mother who I love with every fiber of my being and more, has minor issues with her lungs, due to being an ex-smoker of tobacco, this, coupled with her years, places her at “highly at-risk category.”
The mental scars, that which I have obtained from the daily bombardments from the broadcasted public death tolls were exhausting. Due to the financial limits, I only called home once a month, maybe twice, each time my collect call was being processed, I would always make a “dua” (prayer) to God. These calls only for a second to process, but the suspense was sickening.
Every time I would hear my mom’s voice, it was a prayer answered. Every time my mother would go out running an errand and would not be able to answer my call, I would live life terrified, sometimes for weeks at a time, until the phone rotation allowed me to call again. Further, my wife is mad at me and won’t accept my calls. I have zero contact with her and that also put a dent in my heart.