This story was told by a person incarcerated at Fresno County Jail.
Caller: But we’re still concerned about the – the pandemic, this – this coronavirus because we don’t – we don’t – nobody seems to has – have it here. We do temperature checks every day.
And – and it’s just really, really overwhelming because we’re all in fear. But, you know, men like us, you know, bad boys, we show our fear in different ways. And – and we don’t really express it in healthy, and – and there’s no one here to teach us to express, you know, healthy, healthy emotions. So it’s like we’re all trying to, you know?
There’s 40, okay – our pod is about the size of a Starbucks, so – and there’s 48 of us in here. So, imagine being in a Starbucks with 48 people. You know, trying to move around, trying to be happy, trying to make light of the situation. And for the most part, we are happy.
I mean, you know, we’re not fighting. We don’t – we – some of us, you know, like to read scriptures or, you know, give quote, unquote, quotes, you know, they’ve read before. And it’s all encouraging. So, it’s like a transition.
This pandemic, in one sense, has destroyed the lives of a lot of people, but in a deeper sense, it’s brought us humans together. I’ve seen that. And we’ve overcoming a lot of boundaries that we had before.
So, you know, all of us want to become human beings now – better human beings. That’s what it seems. That’s our main goal because we don’t know when our mother is gonna die or our father, our cousin, our – we just don’t know.
So, it’s like death has opened our eyes to a different, new reality, and it’s a more peaceful reality per se. So, that’s – that’s encouraging. That’s – that’s good news.
And perhaps that’s what it takes, you know, to become better human beings. I’m not sure. But you know life always it has its wildcards. So, do you have any questions, yourself? What would you like to know about, you know, us?
Some of us are in here for murder. Not me, you know. But some of us are in here for murder, so it’s very stressful, you know? Some of us are attempted murder. capital crimes, you know? And it’s very stressful for them.
There’s no family members that we can see, you know come see and visit. So, there’s gotta be an avenue, you know? A vehicle for us to – you know, at least express some kind of feelings towards the outside world, you know, instead of just being bottled up in this little cage here. And, you know, it just feels like no one’s really caring about, you know, us because of our history of crimes and being bad boys.
I just want to say it like that, because for lack of better words. I don’t want to say anything harsher than that because all of us do have love in our hearts. We do have families that we love and care, so we’re not, like, incapable of kindness.
