Disappointment

This story was told by a person incarcerated at Chuckawalla.

UCI: How are you feeling today as a result? Any changes for you?

Caller: I mean, you know, it’s shocking because, you know, you would think that, you know, law enforcement agencies would try to prevent things like this from happening. But, you know, like it just goes on to say that I always hate being right about what they do in here. You know, and I always try to – even with them, I try to see the good in them. But they always end up disappointing me some type of way, you know what I mean?

And, you know, I don’t go around, I’ve never been the one to been assaultive towards them or wish any ill will on them. But it always seems like they wish ill will on us for no reason. You know, we’ve already been punished. So, why are you trying to punish us even more?

UCI: Right, yeah. Do you feel like the way that they’re handling COVID is sort of like an additional punishment then? Is that what I’m understanding?

Caller: Well, I mean it seems like it because I mean it’s like if you’re damned if you don’t, damned if you do.

If you speak on it, they’ll find a way to retaliate, you know what I mean? But the thing about it is now they find another way to try to, you know, implement they little rules to try to have control and things like that. You know, how can you try to implement a bunch of rules to have the control when you have a bunch of inmates on a minimum security yard that just all we want to do is program and possibly go home one day.

UCI: Right, right.

Caller: So, this is why we were sent here.

I came here to possibly, you know, get this sentence reduced based on good behavior and go home one day. But at the same time, you know, proverbially I always feel like it’s a foot being put on my neck for no apparent reason.